Human Resources teams normally try to pick up the pieces once a conflict is brought to their attention, and this is often after there has been a confrontation of some sort. However, those lovely people in HR are often viewed with suspicion, i.e. fear (flight) or anger (fight). There goes that hardwiring unconscious self-protecting instinct kicking in again!
The conflict may be affecting others, and the initial parties are struggling to cope resulting in time off or absenteeism. In some way they are either avoiding or goading one another. When in conflict we tend to view everything through the conflict lens, so see threats and insults where perhaps before we saw banter and fun. We start to use inflammatory terms such as “bully”, “undermined” and “victim”.
MEDIATION changes all that. Professional and experienced mediators such as those at ASM Plus help people to sort things out.
Mediation is a safe process where the parties involved get an opportunity to vent about the problem in a safe place with an empathic, caring, and supportive mediator. Each party gets to think through his/her needs in an individual session with the mediator and considers how to share things in a safe way with the other person later in the day.
Mediation is a forward moving process, acknowledging past events but with a focus on changing things going forward.
The mediator has a number of tools to help people move away from the problem and out of the conflict zone towards resolution.
After the individual meetings with both parties, when the parties are feeling safe and confident they are then invited to meet with each other in a joint session. ASM use a safe, tried and tested process to guide them through the joint meeting.
Our mediator or coach will help these people to move past any hurt, anger, resentment or emotional pain in the individual meetings therefore making them more confident and creative about solving the issues in their relationship with each other.
In 17 years of mediating, I have rarely come across a party who is unwilling to solve the conflict – people generally just want to get on. We are hardwired to be part of a tribe as that is when we consider we are safe from predators so feeling excluded or alienated brings about more stress. Given the right platform, people genuinely want to get along and feel included and therefore safe. We help the parties to disputes to draw up an agreement and in a productive way give them an opportunity to reality test how to handle any future disagreements.
Let ASM Plus handle your energy draining and ongoing conflict situations. Our workplace mediators have an extremely high success rate. We provide support before during and after the mediation. All those involved can contact us for further support if required.