We are used to hearing of people running away from problems. Sometimes they will do that rather than tackle them, which is of course where mediation can obviously help.
But have you heard of the opposite: running towards a problem?! The French even have an expression for it: (‘flight forward’ is the nearest translation but like a lot of neat expressions in another language – such as in Chinese or even in German – it doesn’t do it justice)
But why would anyone fly towards a problem? Often it is because they can’t deal with it and therefore think that all they can do is embrace it. Perhaps they are attracted to something but either can’t see all the possible consequences or turn a blind eye to them. The latter could apply to some relationships: one may be attracted to someone and might see some dangers – possibly including infidelity – but ‘what the hell’
Alternatively it might be a business proposition or business decision which is attractive but has risks.
I suspect now you can think of situations in which you or others close to you have suffered (if that is the right word) – from fuite en avant. And you know it can be just as debilitating as flying away from a problem and just letting it take its course.
One situation that always gets me comes up often in those rather grating – and repetitive – consumer ‘watchdog’ programmes where people go for impossibly cheap deals for things, and then complain that they don’t work out.
Another classic ‘fuite en avant’ would be a debtor who repays a small loan by taking out a bigger one. In that sense the condition is encouraged by banks and other lenders and could in part be responsible for The Crash of 2008/9!
Of course there are times when you can see all the dangers but you think they outweigh the benefits.That is more risk analysis, and could even apply to some potentially risky relationships. Rather than succumb to your first step maybe to do some plain old rational thinking of your own. Additionally at such times you might want to take advice, either from a trusted friend or appropriately qualified professional.
Alternatively you might want to mediate in order to get help to understand your problem. This option might not work in the infidelity scenario mentioned above but it is timely and cost-effective and given the 95% success rate mediation really is worth considering.
Civil and commercial mediator, mentor, trainer, author and consultant in long established firm of solicitors.